Here are the best ways to develop self-awareness

Here are the best ways to develop self-awarenessHere are the best ways to develop self-awarenessFBI agents who work undercover are given a series of psychological tests to determine their level of self awareness. Self awareness enables agents to predict their responses when confronted with unexpected situations that can accompany undercover work.The psychological tests were constructed and administered by the FBIs Behavioral Science Unit. I attended classes for a week as FBI instructors assessed me. The goal was to drill into me the importance of self awareness if I was to become a successful undercover agent.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreEverything we say and do can affect those around us. Self knowledge allows us to control ur reactions so we arent at the mercy of negative behavior patterns. Emotional responses operate below the level of ur conscious awareness- from a part o f our brain called the basal ganglia. If our initial emotional responses tend to be defensive or negative, we need to find ways to modify them. Before we can change an automated emotional response, however, we have to be aware that it exists We need self awareness.A high degree of self awareness requires a willingness to tolerate the discomfort of focusing on feelings that may be negative. It can takemental toughnessto move through that discomfort because the point is to move through and not wallow in it. Instead, self awareness invites you to develop a straightforward and honest understanding of what makes you tick. If you are self aware, you canpredict your reaction and take steps to control negative or unproductive emotions.Successful people understand why they do well, what motivates them, and which people and/or situations push their button. If you are self aware, you are far more likely to pursue the right opportunities, use your strengths, and keep your emotions from holding you back. It improves your ability to direct your life.He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened- Lao TzuHere are the best way to develop self awareness1. Dont treat your emotions as either friends or enemiesIts far too simplistic, and childish, to divide your emotions into two piles good and bad. If you try to label them, you lose your ability to be aware of them.We tend to avoid bad emotions because we dont want them. We may feel ashamed to acknowledge a negative reaction. Good emotions are regarded as positive and something we want. We may not monitor them as we should because hey, all good emotions are friends, right? Unfortunately, the pursuit of positive emotions only can produce a hedonistic lifestyle thats not based in reality.The truth is we need both good and bad emotions to function as healthy human beings in this world. Dont label your emotion instead, become aware of each and every emotion but dont judge it. Observe it, let it run its course, and remind yourself that the feeling was there to help you understand something about yourself.Emotions can make you feelHappy because youve reached your goal.Sad because you lost something.Frustrated because your career has moved in a different direction.Excited because a new adventure is around the corner.Angry because youve been cheated.How to make it work for you Observe the emotion for what it is. Try to understand what your mind wants to tell you. If you dont judge your emotion, it will run its course and not take control of you.2. Understand your life storyPsychologists have begun to focus on a new field of research called narrative identity.Psychologist Dan McAdamsexplains that the stories we tell ourselves about our lives dont just shape our personalities- they are our personalities.Our narrative identify integrates our reconstructed past with our imagined future to provide us with purpose and direction in life. When we understand our lifes story, we begin to find redemptive me anings to the suffering and adversity weve faced in life in the past. When we confront lifes challenges, those redemptive meanings help to develop our self awareness.How to make it work for youLook at your early life story and identify the people, events, and experiences that had the greatest impact on you.In what situations do you find yourself a natural leader? Follower?How do you look at the setbacks in your life?What have they taught you? About yourself? About others?3.Learn what pushes your buttonsWe all have buttons that produce predictable reactions. When the right ones are pushed, we can scream, throw tantrums, or burn with anger. Knowing who, or what, pushes your buttons and how it happens is critical to developing the ability to take control of the situation.If you know where your buttons are and what triggers them, this understanding of yourself opens the door so you can manage your response. Youre no longer the victim of an uncontrollable situation. You will have the imp roved emotional intelligence that allows you the ability to control the outcome.Emotions often show up uninvited and unexpected but they serve an important purpose- theyre clues you need to pay attention to in order to fully understand yourself.How to make it work for youEven when the emotions are painful, you need to trace them back to their origin to understand their purpose. Pay attention to them, spend time looking for why this emotion surfaced at this time, who triggered it, and in what context?4. Re-evaluate your valuesMost people dienstgrad out of the chute when they get out of school. They get a job that sounds exciting and work hard to distinguish themselves from the rest of the pack. Theyre young and talented enough to nip at the heels of the older and more experienced folks ahead of them. As soon as the older folks start to flail and fall back, the younger crop runs over them and moves further up the ladder.We might start a family, buy a house, and dream of our future. In short, we do all the things that society tells us to do to pursue happiness. After a few years, however, two things happen to us we age, and we grow up.A new generation arrives on the scene, straight out of school, and full of energy. Now we are the older folks who feel the younger ones nip at our heels. We look over our shoulder to keep from being run over and a new sense of fear and desperation starts to creep in. If were not committed and passionate about our job, that downward trajectory is the price we pay for staying in a mediocre career that hasnt fed our soul.Some find success to be exactly what they expected and worked so hard to achieve. Their ich loves the victories and they never tire in their pursuit of more fame or money. There is always something they can do to make themselves happier and more admired. The celebration of self never tires for some.Others, however, find success doesnt always bring satisfaction. We yearn for for something more in life. This disruption c an be forced upon us, such as illness or losing a job, or it can be an emptiness we discover on our own. We realize that societys rules prepare us only for a life where success is measured by money and toys. Instead of things to inspire us, we look for relationships to fulfill us.How to make it work for you Self awareness provides you the ability to look deeper into yourself. Revisit your values on a regular basis and ask these questionsDoes your career go into the direction you want to?Does your job require you to do things with which you are not comfortable?Do your colleagues treat you the way you would like to be treated?Do you have enough time for your family?Does your current path lead to where you want to be in 2 years?This article originally appeared on LaRae Quy.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will ersatzdarsteller your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people